Monday, August 24, 2009

Pucker Snafus!

So. (I've noticed I start a lot of my posts with 'SO'..& I'm ok with that!). trying to keep my mind off the nausea & backache/cramping/wanting-to-die (which WebMD, FitPregnancy & Google, inform me is normal w/ early pregnancy..which I should probably know..I mean, I AM a nurse..btw if any of you mammas out there have anything you'd like to inform me of, warn me of, or scare me with...please, PLEASE divulge your secrets! Holly, I'm talking to YOU!) AHEM!! I digress....

In trying to distract myself, I found this funny little blurb on MSN about kissing, informing me of the multiple ways in which you can 'Kill The Kiss'! For those of us out there that were/are free with their lips (sorry, mom!), these 'Kiss Killers' are old news. But that definitely doesn't keep them from being funny..especially when they made me recall my own experiences!

Kiss Killer #1: Attack of the Mouth! Just like it sounds: full on assault! I dated this guy right before my hubby, who must've thought kissing was a contact sport that required a helmet & full set of pads! Or fake lips. I was so excited for our first kiss (you know how it is!). The anticipation was killing me! I just KNEW it was going to happen...he inched closer...closer...& then DOVE onto my face! Suction in full force, teeth gnawing ferociously! I went with it for a couple minutes, thinking maybe he'd get tired (haha). No such luck! When I started tasting blood, I decided to call it quits..kissing is supposed to be fun, & THIS was worse than going to the dentist! I lost chunks of my lower lip to that experience!

Kiss Killer #2: The Grandma Peck. You know..that chaste little, closed lipped dab. And, OK, I'll admit that any grandma kissing I've experienced has been completely & totally my fault. I call(ed) them pity kisses. And you shouldn't do it, ladies!!! It just gives hope where there is none!! Unfortunately, I didn't realize how heartless this was until I was out of highschool..sorry to all the boys I pity kissed!!

Kiss Killer #3: Bad Breath. *sigh* I've probably also been guilty of this one with my hubby. My philosphy is if everyone eats the garlic & doesn't matter! Right? According to my hubby, WRONG!! He is a stickler for good if I want any action, I brush, floss, Listerine etc...all in hopes of a good smooch :)

Kiss Killer #4: Going Off-Target. This is my favorite!! So (there's that 'SO' again!). Imagine a romantic setting: candles flickering, sexy music playin'...I'm trying to be all seductive & go in for some nice, hot lip action!! I'm really gettin' into the kiss (which, in all reality, is only nanoseconds in) when I realize 'Man, Jeff's tongue feels really weird! It's kinda knobby!' Jeff then snorts & pushes me away!

'Um, babe, um, WHAT ARE YOU DOING??!!'

'I'm kissing you..I think..'

'Yeah, uh, that's my nose!'

Oh. OK. Wow. My bad! haha :) Who knew sucking on someones nose could be so sexy!! As a disclaimer, though: It was dark, ok?!

Anywho, I'd like to hear your guys' funny 'fess up, people!! Oh, and give me the dirt on being prego!


Wednesday, August 19, 2009


What to write, what to write.....Well, for starters, I must lead a very boring life!! I WANT to update my blog. Really. I do. But I just can't think of anything to put on here.......

I guess I could blog about the really awesome grilled veggie kabob recipe I've been eating practically every night for the last 2 weeks (you've tasted it Jess, tell the it not delish??:).

Or the Real Soccer game the hubs & I went to this last weekend (man, we gots no skillz..seriously, I was gettin' bored by the end of the second half...which is sad, since I'm a soccer chick.)

Or about going downtown with my favorite gal, Cher, and her two little kiddos! It was so fun hangin' out with her, chillin', scoping out the rings we want our men to buy us..watching her cute kids run through the fountain...SO fun!! Must repeat!

Or the fact that my hubby is working on our backyard...ripped out a whole bunch of weeds w/ a Bobcat (got a killer sunburn in the process), and is now faced with a giant pile of boulders to play with..he loves gettin' dirty!

And. Last but not least....apparently Jeff & I are official members of the '2 Pink Lines Club' or the 'Plus Sign Club' or really whateva' the hell you wanna' call it club....any way you spin it, it means, to be blatantly obvious: I've got a bun in the oven!

How's that for a grand finale?

SO! I guess I DO have stuff to write about! Too bad I don't take pictures :) And too bad I'm not feeling creative enough to elaborate on the above activities...but at least I'm puttin' in some effort, right? And it's the thought that counts!