You know you're a nurse if....

I was reading through an old email of mine..and these crack me up every time..because they're true, true, true! All my nursing gals will agree..and if you guys thing of anymore..let me know!

*discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you
*you have the bladder capacity of five people
*you believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if the phrase, "wow, it is really quiet" is uttered
*you mutter, "great veins" when being introduced to a complete stranger (this ruined many a good date for me, btw)
*you believe chocolate is a food group :)
*you have ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience.
*you think that caffeine should be available in IV form. (It is, btw, but not to a poor, stressed out nurse!!)
*you have been exposed to so many x-rays that you consider radiation a form of birth control..not to mention CHEMOTHERAPY..yikes!
*you have ever had a patient look you straight in the eye and say, "I have no idea how that got stuck in there"...this is scary, people..AND TRUE!!
*your feet are flatter and tougher than Fred Flintstone's (they also need nightly massages...if only!!)
*your immune system is so well developed that it has been known to attack squirrels in the back yard!!
*you get an almost irresistible urge to stand and wolf your food even in the nicest restaurants
*you refer to motorcyclists as "organ donors." I know this is morbid, but if you don't wear a helmet..IT'S TRUE!
*you are the only one at the dinner table NOT allowed to talk about your day at work.
*your idea of fine dining is anywhere you can sit down to eat..which would be anything my hubby makes..YUM!
*you've ever had a patient with a nose-ring tell you "I'm afraid of shots."
*you've ever sworn you are going to have "NO CODE" tattooed on your chest...I WILL do this at some point..the things I've seen....ugh
*the front of your scrubs reads “Nurses…here to save your butt, not kiss it!” I actually had a nursing prof who had this one her license plate frame..I thought it was hilarious!
*you believe some patients are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.
*you recognize that you can’t cure stupid.
*you own at least three pens with the names of prescription medications on them.
*you believe there’s a special place for the inventor of the call light.
*you believe that saying “it can’t get any worse” causes it to get worse just to show you it can.
*you wash your hands BEFORE you go to the bathroom..I'm conviced I have most of the scary viruses out there already, actually :)
*you believe that any job where you can drive to work in your pajamas is a cool one.
*you consider a tongue depressor an eating utensil...fat chopsticks, people!
*eating microwave popcorn out of a clean bedpan is perfectly natural.
*you’ve placed a bet on someone’s blood alcohol level.
*you’ve told a confused patient that your name is that of a coworker and to call if they need help..hehe:)
*you have seen more penises than any prostitute could dream of.
*your family and friends refuse to watch medical sitcoms with you because you spend the whole time correcting everyone and pointing out upside down x-rays...I feel bad for Jeff when we watch House & Scrubs!
*you don’t get excited about blood, unless it’s your own...and even then, it's iffy!
*your idea of a good time is a cardiac arrest at shift change...this is when codes ALWAYS happen..never, ever fails!
*you believe that the government should require permits to reproduce.
*you’ve had to leave a patient’s room before you begin to laugh uncontrollably...the things we hear!

AhHAH!

I think I figured out why we haven't sold our townhouse: Bad karma because of my attitude!  Case-in-point:

I worked last night, so I was DEAD asleep!  I quite frequently don't turn up the volume on my phone when I sleep days cause I DON'T WANT TO BE WOKEN UP!  Well, I guess our realtor called to see if someone could walk through this afternoon.  I didn't hear the phone ring.  The other guys' realtor called. Didn't hear the phone ring.  So they came and POUNDED (when I say pounded, I ain't kidding!  I though there was some kind of emergency for someone to be banging away like that..which is why I dragged my butt out of bed after FIVE minutes of ruckus..I usually ignore it.)  The real kicker: our realtor KNOWS I work nights, so he KNOWS if I don't answer the phone during the day there's a 99.99999% chance my backside is glued to my mattress.

And there they stood.

Them: Hi! You didn't answer your phone so we thought we'd just come over.  How are you?

The light dawns  as to who they are and what they want! *DING*

Me: (in a REALLY pissy tone) I was sleeping.

Them: Oh!  Do you want us to come back later?

Me: No.  I'm already awake. You can walk through now.  (I will admit I was being the most discourteous person at this point..I'm protective of my sleep when I have to be up at ungodly hours.)

Them: Ok.  Cool.  Thanks.

So they waltzed through, like they hadn't just destroyed my sanity while I sat on the couch and fumed in my robe, reading a Women's Health magazine article about stress & how sleep can affect it.  Really?

Them: Well thanks!  You have a beautiful home, even when it's not spotlessly cleaned!!??

I'm not kidding.  They said that.  And just so y'all know..my house can never be considered that dirty, even when it's at its worst..I don't have kids to do that for me yet!

Me: *blank, pissy, stare*

Them: I'd love to show your place again..when is a good time?

Me: When I'm not sleeping. I answer my phone when I'm available to have the house walked through.

And out they went!

I know I was rude.  So were they.  I really couldn't care less.

Staying awake....

A. Attached or single? Attached
B. Best friend? Jeff :)
C. Cake or pie? J's molten lava chocolate mini-cakes he makes for me when I have a bad day.
D. Day of choice? Saturday..it's the only day I get to spend completely with Jeff!
E. Essential Item? Cell phone and lip gloss
F. Favorite color? Red!
G. Gummy bears or worms? Ummm..neither..chocolate..but if I have to choose Sour Patch Kids
H. Hometown? Bluffdale, UT
I. Indulgence? Jeff's cooking!!
J. January or July? July, for sure! The 4th is my favorite holiday!
K. Kids? One puppy :)
L. Life isn't complete w/o? My hubby and our families..which includes our dogs!
M. Marriage date? May 4th, 2006
N. Number of brothers & sisters? 4 brothers, one sister!
O. Oranges or apples? Oranges..mmmmm
P. Phobias? Friends, family, or me getting cancer!!
Q. Quotes? "God grant me the courage to change the things I can change, the serenity to accept those I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference."
R. Reasons to smile? Too many: Jeff, Zuky, my family, the fact that I have a job, a home, enough food, I'm healthy...would you like me to keep going?
S. Season of choice? Spring and fall..perfect running weather!
T. Tag some peeps! Y'all know who you are!
U. Unknown fact about me: I always slam doors & cupboards..so Jeff always thinks I'm mad when I'm cooking!
V. Vegetable? I know it's a fruit but, tomatoes!
W. Worst habits? Procrastination!!!
X. X-ray or ultrasound? they're both useful in their own rights..haha
Y. Your fav food? Jeff's coffee-rub ribeyes, his amazing ribs, yummy salads....
Z. Zodiac sign? Gemini

CAN. NOT. STAY. AWAKE.

My eyes feel like they have sandpaper for eyelids.

Wondering why I don't work a normal, 9-5, Mon-Fri job. Because I love having 4 days off a week, I guess.

Counting the hours, minutes, seconds till Jeff & I leave for Bear Lake. It CANNOT come soon enough.

Drinking ice-cold Diet Coke..it's making me freeze..it's keeping me awake..I HATE being awake at 3 AM!!!

I love my job. I love my job. I love my job.

Provo Canyon 1/2 Marathon Trail Run!!

So, I actually got pictures of this 1/2 marathon..woohoo!! It was a really great run! Jeff and I took our toy hauler down to Provo to 'camp' overnight so we wouldn't have to get up quiiiiite so early for me to catch the shuttle bus up the canyon. We still got up at 4:40 AM..lol. ANYWHO, I ran with my sis-in-law, Misty, and her friend, Lilly..both awesome chicks! I decided there is very little that can beat good friends, good scenery and good tunes while running!

Misty, Lilly, and me..these girls were so fun to run with!

Um, yeah, that IS my 4 month old cute nephew, Ethan, (4 months, right Misty?) she's holding. Misty is my role model!! WOOHOO!!
My very sweet hubby, who has woken up waaaay too dang early for all my runs this summer and always smiles about it! He is the best and I love him SO, SO much!

So, we came, we ran, we conquered! I took some way cute pics of Misty's kids but since they're her children I figure I'll let her post them on her blog! haha :) We went to IHOP for breakfast after the run and thoroughly enjoyed the heck out of our pancakes! Another Saturday morning well spent!

AAAAAARRRRRRRGHHHHHHH!!!!!!

I am in a truly pissy mood at the moment (I've been moody a lot lately, but this tops all my recent 'moments', unfortunately.)  WHY am I pissy?  Because if one more real estate agent calls to look at our townhouse and then CANCELS, or DOESN'T EVEN SHOW (w/o the courtesy of calling to cancel, might I add!)  I'm going to go postal!!  Today is especially bad because I just got off three night shifts.  I'm tired.  I was sleeping.  Jeff called to let me know someone wanted to come look at our place in 30 MINUTES!!  (I am TRULY SO SORRY for snapping at you, babe!  I know it's not your fault) Great.  So I hauled butt to straighten up and then they cancelled. FAN-FREAKIN-TASTIC!!!  (Since this a 'family friendly' page I'm leaving out the expletives.  But believe me, I've been spouting them! Sorry to my mother!)  I'm just so discouraged..the house we've been building is done.  Fine. Final walk through next week.  And no one will buy our townhouse..which surprises me, because everyone LOOOOVES it when they walk through: the custom tile, the custom paint, the location (and in case you're wondering, it IS priced extremely reasonably..no one can manage to get a loan,though)..blah, blah, blah.  If everyone loves it so much then why won't they just BUY THE DAMN PLACE!!  So I can move into my dream home with my hubby...is that too much to ask?  I have been hoping and praying and wishing (you know how the song goes..)  And now all I have left to do is vent on my blog and eat a fruit chiller, which, btw, are my new obsession (my mother introduced me to them).  I highly recommend them: DELISH!

I also highly recommend buying our townhouse!

THE END!

Friendship

FRIENDSHIP, n. 'The state of being friends'.  Well THAT'S about as mundane and self-explanatory as you can get!!  I have another definition (i found it back in highschool, where it was quite accurate at times!) FRIENDSHIP, n. 'A ship big enough to carry two in fair weather, but only one in foul.  The sea was calm and the sky was blue; Merrily, merrily sailed we two.  On the tipsy ship, with a dreadful shout, The tempest descended and we fell out.' ~ Armit Huff Bettle. (Devil's Dictionary).

So, what do you folks define friendship as?  Is it the person who answers the phone at 1AM to listen to you sob?  Or the person who drops everything to come help you, no matter what? (that's my sister, btw).   Are you still friends when that person finally tells you she thinks you're being immature and you need to quit  being selfish and taking advantage of people?  I guess we'll find out..

Ode to...RANDOM THINGS!

So I basically just downloaded whatever was on our camera and decided to  blog about some of the pics..haha!  So, our house in Lehi is almost done (if we actually move into it is a whole 'nother blog!) I really like the fireplace and kitchen cabinets:

Also, can I just say, I totally love our puppy!  She is such a great friend :)  Here she is just chillin' while I water our plants..she listens to everything I have to say and occasionally gives good advice!

And where would I be without red shoes??  I LOOOOOVE red shoes! Especially if they involve heels..some may think these are hideous.  I personally think they are fabulous! 

And those plants I was talking about?  Here's one of our baby rosebushes..which started out basically as a twig in the ground..it looks awesome!  All 'cause my sweet, green-thumbed hubby can make anything happy..even a rosebush!

Right-o then!  Thanks for viewing my random thoughts :)  Have a great day!